fight my battles

There is a song I cannot stop listening to that has all of the elements that would make me not like it. The song has only 1 line in the verse sung over and over. The chorus only has 2 lines sung over and over. The song repeats while the band builds and builds, then drops off, and builds again. In addition to all of that, it is recorded by Michael W. Smith, who I have not been a fan of for most – ok all – of my life, and to be fair the first time I heard the song was on YouTube when Bethel Music performed it. All that being said, he has put out a song that I just cannot get enough of. I play it almost every morning on my way to work and it makes me tear up just about every time.

So what is the name of the song?

“Surrounded (Fight my battles)”

So what is it about this song that continues to speak to me? It is the chorus. It is so simple but makes so much sense. It hits on the thoughts that go through our heads when we feel we are in the midst of a battle. The chorus of the song goes like this:

“It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surrounded by you.”

Have you ever felt like this? I know I sure have. If you have ever challenged the status quo, you will certainly feel like this. If you have ever challenged the way yourself and all of your friends grew up, you will certainly feel like this. And sometimes when you are fighting battles within yourself, you will feel like this. If you have ever said, “Why do I keep doing this?” you may feel like this.

Lately, I have been challenging the status quo within myself as well as within the institutions I have been a part of my entire life. As I have dug deeper into God’s word and studied more and more about what God is trying to say to us, it has led me to challenge the status quo of one of the largest institutions in the world today: the church. I have found myself questioning some of the things I have been told my entire life. I have found myself saying things like “I don’t know about that” more and more often. I have found myself getting in the middle of uncomfortable conversations that may or may not end poorly. But when all of this happens, the chorus of this song runs through my head.

“It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surrounded by you.”

There is one thing that has become very apparent through all of this: it is extremely important to approach any conversation (or battle) humbly. It is important to remember how messy your journey of faith has been throughout the years. As soon as you forget how long it has taken you to evolve to this point in your life, you begin to hinder the evolution of the people you are talking to. It’s easy to forget how many times you’ve taken 5 steps backwards after taking 1 or 2 steps forward. Life is messy, and we are all in this together. Just remember that if you feel surrounded, that you are surrounded by our Creator. He is behind you and is rooting for you. Approach things with love and you will not lose.

-brad

confession

original art by James Isenhower

I am stunned, angry and swimming in a profound sadness, and frankly I’m writing blind, hoping some answer will float to the surface. I find myself going back and forth between different emotions depending on what I hear being said or what I have read after the horrific tragedy in Las Vegas. I admit I am sitting here typing with tears in my eyes, and I can’t 100% explain why. First, you turn on the television in the morning and you hear these unbelievable stories of heroism and bravery that are coming out from that night. Then you turn to another channel or flip to your phone to look at Facebook, and you start to read the unbelievable Bullsh*t that seems to come out of people’s mouths when something like this happens. 

I am writing this on Tuesday Oct. 3rd, only two days removed from the Las Vegas shooting, and the main thing being discussed is whether or not there should be stricter gun control laws within this country.  Already people have turned their focus from the victims and are trying to get in their political points.  People against gun control attempt to turn the focus away from guns and onto other things that kill Americans as well. They point to the deadly consequences associated with drugs, cars, cancer, natural disasters and anything else they can think of to try to steer the conversation away from gun regulation.  No doubt, the NRA has already made calls to all their favorite congressmen urging them to hold strong in this time of tragedy, because darn it all, the people of this country have the right to bear arms.

In fairness, I do not know fully where I stand on this. Before someone calls me out, I do own three firearms. I have had a couple of them for years, and I have shot them only a dozen or so times.  I confess that they are beginning to make me more and more uncomfortable by the day. With each tragedy that happens and with each person that is just so damn insistent that gun regulation is not the problem, I can’t help but wonder – what or who is to blame? The only common denominator I see in all of these tragedies in the gun itself. One could argue it is the person holding the gun, but in each of these mass shootings it has been a different story and a different person. The only common thread throughout all of them is that they were allowed to freely purchase or own a gun with very little red tape to break through.

I do enjoy hunting. I cherish getting up really early with my dad, heading out to a spot in the middle of the woods and waiting for deer to come across our path. The thing about hunting rifles is they are not the types of rifles being used to murder mass groups of people, and rarely have I heard anyone from either side bring those up during a gun debate. By the same token, you rarely hear someone bring up shotguns, which are used not only for hunting but also for home protection. But for the life of me, I cannot think of any reason that an assault rifle or automatic weapon should ever be purchased by a person that is not in the military. In light of all of these tragedies, why are we so steadfast on keeping these killing machines in our homes?

If you have listened to our podcast, you have probably heard us say that we do not know all the answers, and that certainly rings true for this topic. But I want to ask you all a couple of questions, and it would be an honor if you would let me know what you think:

1.)    Do you believe there need to be stricter gun laws in this country?  Why or Why not?

2.)    Why do you think America seems to have a disproportionate number of murders by guns compared to other countries?

3.)    What, if anything, at this point could be done to try to eliminate these mass shootings and shootings in general?

-brad

so will I

Has anyone heard the latest song from Hillsong United called So Will I (100 Billion X)? 

I normally don’t go around asking people if they have heard a song, since just about everyone seems to hear songs before I have. I do not listen to the radio much so if the song is new, I will not know about it for some time. One of the many really fun things that happens when I get together with David is that he shows me new music. He always phrases his presentation of a band or song by saying, “You have probably heard this, but…” Here’s the dirty little secret though: I haven’t.

I say that only to paint a picture of how rare it is that I know of a new song – especially a new worship song – when it comes out. A couple of weeks ago our church played So Will I during their worship set, and it completely stuck out to me because it most accurately describes where I am in my spiritual journey with following Jesus. Unlike many worship songs you hear which tend to talk about Christ as the conquering king or the power of God, this song focuses on the wonder and majesty of our creator. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t see anything wrong with the other songs. I have been moved by a lot of those as well, but this song moves me in a different way than any other song has in a long time.

So here is a snippet of the first chorus:

I can see Your heart in everything You’ve made
Every burning star
A signal fire of grace
If creation sings Your praises so will I

Having grown up going to church my entire life, I had a tendency to lose sight of the wonder of a creator. My attention defaulted to the discipleship aspect of Christianity, and I always focused on what I needed to do to become a “better Christian.” The thing is, I burned out on this approach and realized I would never be able to do enough to feel like I was getting “better.” It felt like a fleeting task to strive to be a better disciple. I could never get into reading the Bible for my designated 15 minutes or praying for the right amount of time about the right things. Just wasn’t happening for me.

Then about a year and a half ago, I was introduced to the wonder of God. My eyes were opened to creation and how beautiful it is. I began to bask in the wonder that all things display the work a creator. I began to enjoy reading about science instead of denying it, as I would have done when I was younger. When I hear someone speak of an aspect of science I don’t understand, I try to embrace it instead of dismissing it because it may not line up with the biblical account. Because just about every time this happens and I dive into what was said, I see the Creator in the science.

This song So Will I speaks to me because it reflects the wonder of the universe. May we not lose sight of this as we go throughout our days. I see so many self-help books about living in the moment and not wasting a day, and I could not agree more. May we never lose sight of the wonder that is our existence on this planet. May we never reduce our relationship with Jesus to tasks and rituals that steal away the joy of just being with him. And may we never lose sight of the fact that Jesus died so that all of creation may be loved by God as perfect and blameless.

So, I will leave you with the bridge of this song. My hope is that it brings you the same wonder and joy that it brought me:

If the stars were made to worship so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high so will I
If the wind goes where You send it so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times

If you would like to listen to this song you can find it on iTunes or any of the streaming services. 

-brad